A Hope on a Special fren?

What wrong with me? why i need to depend on someone so much? I got my own life, and of coz she got hers, she dont have bare the responsibility to accompany me all the time. I understand that but why i feel slightly cool from her, my mood will float? Sometimes i really wan be cold hearted, Sometimes i really wan to keep my distance with other in order to get used to the loneliness. What a useless being of me, so the test was true, my EQ was below average. I cant control my emotion, it just fly as it like. I guess the "she" did affected much, way too much, my whole personality already change, most of my fren can feel tat, maybe i trying to keep myself from getting hurt again, I closed my heart, all words from frens cant get into it. I keep telling myself to hold myself together, i tried every way to get myself back. Those ways is working but not for long, after awhile or smtg happened, i just will turn back to tat floating emotion self. Now i writing this, my emotion also floating, all my sentence are not organize. I just rushing to write all out from my heart, it is pain, pouring all to blog will help me feel better, but not for long, soon or later i will be back to tat so called emo self. I just dun like the feel, the pain was so clearly from heart spreading to other part of body, i guess some of you out there know what i talking abt. How can i face it? Am i wrong? why "she" wan to left this behind? Too many unanswered questions; why cant i live happily with my fren and family? why "she" need to appear in my mind my dream wherever i go?The empty space tat she leave behind, can someone replace it?I just relize, i holding my emotion back so much becoz i told myself cant be emo anymore, now release all out, i feel alot better. It is so unfair, why i have to get punish like tis? where have i did wrong? Sry frens, i guess i let u guys down again. well, i still wan to ask u all, no need to bare the negative emotion from me, even i know some of u will just do it, becoz of fren, but just let me be bar, i will let my emotion dance with the melody of songs i listening to. Duno when this will end, duno how many times more i have to fall down again.

可惜我是水瓶座~

水瓶座，天才星，思想跟别人不一样，情绪无人能抓摸。这就好比把水瓶座和孤单画上等号，心情忽上忽下，风像星的特征吧？像风，飘飘然的性格，谁能理解？我的节拍，谁能跟？很多朋友都尽力了，心里很感激，很感动，也带着有些对不起的。水瓶座，要特别就要孤单，我能怎样？只能认命吧！埃~

跌倒了？

ouch!又跌倒了，还是那么的痛。该死的，干吗还是那么笨啊？跌倒了，能怎样？放弃一切？那么之前的努力不就白费了吗？惟有再站起来咯，痛？记着那感觉，告诉自己不要再痛就要学聪明一点。相信走到最后会有一片自己所要的天空，就算弄到全身伤都要要紧牙根继续跑。我要跑咯, 不等你了。

爱的光环~

谁不渴望被爱？活在那爱的光环里多么幸福，多么舒服。但一离开那光环，我们的生存率有多少呢？那光环，不能像我们所要得那样永久，我们慢慢得长大，那光环，慢慢地也不够用了。多么渴望我永远是小孩，有人保护，有人帮我出头。长大了，只能靠着自己那双手，努力得为着生活而奋斗。人多么无能啊，怪时间不能倒流吧，怪缘分就是不能长久吧。童年，我们天真的在草场奔驰，不小心跌倒，有那双温暖的手为我擦着留下来的泪和那温柔的声音安慰着我。长大了，跌倒，要逼自己再爬起来，不管多痛，也要告诉自己不能哭。还是当小孩比较好吧？

性格 vs 星座~

在这世上，住着不同不同类型的人，在这里我是指性格。可能有些人不认同我的说法，有些人会说我迷信。可是，我还是坚持认为，那不是迷信。人的性格，能以星座来分类。可是，不同的环境，会酿成不同的性格，所以星座不能100%准确地描述人的性格。所以，有些人是例外的，可是不能说完全不符合星座所说的。

同样类型的人，会散发着同样的气质，同样类型的人，我可见得不少。可是，要寻找自己类型的人，全靠缘分了。我可算是其中的一位吧，我和她是在网上（Maple Story）游戏认识，我也忘了什么原因，我们开始聊起来，越聊越起劲，发现对方都很了解自己。那个笨蛋，用了最差劲的形容词来形容彼此~肚子里的虫 ==。我发现，我们两的家庭背景，差不多一样的，另一个说法是我们的父母也是同类型的。缘分很奇妙哦。

可是，我们俩是不同星座的，可能不是我们性格一样吧，只是看法一样（父母“培养”出来的）。 人真的很复杂，简简单单不就好了吗？

守护天使 vs 有限的缘分

我相信守护天使，天使在童话故事里，是带着慈祥笑容，陪着一对雪白的翅膀的。而我所谓的守护天使，就是在我们身旁，关心我们的人。我发现，这段时间里，我一直在接近不同不同的人。帮着他们维护那微弱的心灵，他们也是如此。这可以说，我们是彼此的守护天使吧。就好像，我们被刻意安排在这茫茫人海中遇见。可是，缘分会有终结的一天，当我们以一个守护天使的身份，来到他们身旁，我们会发现，我们为彼此的人生，画下了忘不了的回忆。当我们完成任务，他们不再需要我们来维护他们的心灵，我们会随着时间慢慢，慢慢的在他们身旁消失。无论我们怎样的不愿意，怎样的哭泣，怎样的呐喊，我们还是注定离开他们，去展开另一个新的旅程。就这样，反复反复得演变，无法逃避。

不顺眼~

这天下，这地上，住着各式各样的人。有些人活在自己的道理，有些人活在别人给的道理。不是因为i那些道理是对的，是那些道理让他们觉得很舒服。可是，每个人握着不同的道理，往往会有冲突。表面上是能避免，事实上只不过在逃避。那还算是小事，有些人觉得自己很了不起，往往都要逼着别人接受他那一套道理。每个人都有自己的一片天空，让自己自由得飞翔，逼别人飞在你的天空，换回来的只是挣扎。我就是我，不用你管。我就是看你不顺眼，你又能怎样？你以为只有你会带面具做人？你的面具，我一眼就看穿了。我想，我现在写着你，我想你也不知吧。

Exam again~~

Haiz, relax abit then have exam again~~~Last exam like just in yesterday and next week need face another 2 exam....Sej and Moral was never my strong subj, I really dont get the points of study this two subj. From primary school till Uni, I just cant flee from this two subj haiz. Luckily both of my presentation is on Monday, then i can clear my mind then focus on study. I just hope i can pass and get into degree. What a waste of One and Half month~~~~~~Wish me luck

I just wan be who I am~

I wanna change, I tired to my old self who always wear a mask in order to prevent someone hating me, then end up losing myself. What will i wanna care? they will hate me because we are not getting along, why would i wanna fake myself out in order to get along with them. well? I do admit this will result to loneliness, but i prefer loneliness than tiring myself endlessly just to get along. I believe that, there are someone out there who mean for me to get along. and I can still be back myself, not just a acting. Is there law say cannot have less friend? Nothing wrong with less friend, if someone got many friend, but non is close friend, is there any meaning? what a waste of time and life. I prefer best friend than numerous of faker. well i trow out my boom who will hit? i don't know, and don't wanna know~

End of 2009~

well, i was happy 2009 ended^^...2009 was a sad year for me, ya there are come fun also, but compare to sadness, fun was just a mere of sand...haiz..well it was over..^^ welcome 2010..what will happen? i cant wait to know..my summer semester also end, left few week, how preparing for the presentation on next Monday. almost can back home le, miss family and friends so much, cant wait to be back~~~